


You’re the only thing that makes sense, and that's enough.

by lydiamxrtin



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [5]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alex is struggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, M/M, Protective Michael Guerin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:29:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29470230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lydiamxrtin/pseuds/lydiamxrtin
Summary: Bad Things Happen Bingo Prompt ● "Insomnia” + Malex.Alex struggles with losing his dad and Flint being in a coma. He wanders Roswell looking for solace and lands on the doorstep of Michael Guerin.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2119380
Comments: 15
Kudos: 82
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	You’re the only thing that makes sense, and that's enough.

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm back on my malex bullshit and have been having all the malex feels so this is where this fic came from! I really enjoyed writing malex again and miss the boysss so much! 💗
> 
> anyway hope you guys all enjoy this little fic!

The cream ceiling above stared down at Alex, the moonlight from outside creating a thin line of silver across the plaster, Alex traced his eyes up and down the sliver of light. 

He turned on his side, facing the blank wall, his hands wrapped around his stomach.

His lids felt heavy and his body exhausted, but still, Alex could find no sleep. Not for lack of trying, Alex had spent the day curled up in bed, willing his body to rest but even now, at 1:34am, Alex laid awake. 

Alex pressed his eyes tight together, pulling the covers around him more. Alex wasn’t sure how long had passed, but just as his eyes felt like they were finally going to rest a noise from his living room ripped him from the edge of sleep. He pulled himself up in the bed, silently and quickly slipping his prosthetic on under his joggers. Alex lifted himself from the bed, carefully pulling his pistol from the draw as he stepped closer to his bedroom door, pressing his ear against it.

He couldn’t make out what the noise was; footsteps? Shuffling? He reached his hand out and silently turned the door handle, slipping through the small gap his gun held close. Alex kept his back pressed to the wall as he got closer to the living room, his heart beating ringing in his ears. Alex finally reached the threshold of the living room, whipping around with his gun.

The room was empty, no one, or thing to be seen. 

A movement caught his eye and Alex flung around to point his gun at it. The curtain was blowing, knocking into the string next to it.

Alex cursed, walking over to the curtain and moving it slightly to the side to reveal an open window.  _ Had Alex left it open?  _ Would he have done that? Alex cursed, he’d opened it this morning. He shook his head, placing the gun on the table. 

Alex’s brain felt tired, correction,  _ exhausted _ . Apparently even remembering if he’d open a window was too much for him now. He reached out closing the window and moving the curtain back. He reached up to rub his forehead.

He looked around the room again, making sure that no one was inside. His father may be gone, and Flint in a coma but there were still people out there, their enemies that were now Alex’s.

He picked up the gun, walking back to his room to lock in back in his draw. He sunk down on the bed, resigning himself to the fact that sleep was not going to happen tonight, like it hadn’t happened for the past few days. He walked over to his cupboard, grabbing an air force jumper and slipping it on.

Alex walked through the hospital doors, the bright fluorescent lights almost burning his tired eyes. He made a beeline for the office, tapping on the door.

“Alex?” Kyle said, spinning around in his chair, “Wh-what are you doing here, is everything alright?” He asked, standing up to walk over to Alex, his brows pulled together in worry.

“Everything’s fine,” Alex said, a forced smile on his face as he said the lie, “I was just wondering if I could see Flint,” He asked. 

He knew Flint was still in the coma, Kyle would have told him if things had changed but Alex just needed to see, needed to know he still had time to work out what the hell he was going to say to his brother. “I know it's past visiting hours but…” Kyle held his hand up, giving Alex a comforting smile. 

They reached the room, and Alex hovered by the door with Kyle, “His vitals are good, he’s stable, he should wake up soon,” Alex just nodded, he’d been saying he should wake up for the last few days, “He  _ will _ wake up soon,” Kyle said, giving Alex’s shoulder a slight nudge with his own.

“I know that should relax me but somehow…”  _ It did the complete opposite _ , “He doesn’t know our dads dead, that Greg was the one to kill him,” Alex had played over how that conversation was going to go a hundred times and it never ended well for anyone, “And I still have no idea what his connect to Deep Sky is,” Another shady organisation the Manes men were connected to, one Alex still knew little about.

“Have you been sleeping?” Kyle suddenly asked, earning a confused look from Alex, one brow raised at his friend, “You look tired,” he said.

Alex gave a small, sad laugh, “It's been a long-” 

“Week, month, year?” Kyle rattled off.

“All of the above,” Alex sighed.

“Look I know you’ve got  _ lot  _ on but, you gotta take care of yourself as well man,” Kyle said, looking over at Flint, “Go home, get some rest, Flint and all those problems will still be here tomorrow,” And that's what terrified Alex. 

Kyle gave Alex a pat on the shoulder before leaving the room. The two brothers left alone, the holders of two different Manes legacies.

He wasn’t sure why he came to the hospital, it did little to calm him or solve anything. After watching his brother sleep for a while Alex left, walking out into the cold night. Alex took in a deep breath, shoving his hands into his pocket. 

He should go home, try and sleep and forget about the whole day, everything that was swirling around in his mind. 

Instead, Alex walked away from his car and hospital into the dark Roswell night. He didn’t have a plan where to go or what he was going to do but Alex just  _ needed _ to do something that wasn’t just lying in his bed thinking about everything he couldn’t fix.

He passed the Crashdown, the Wildpony; all his local places closed. Alex watched the sky as he walked, looking as the moon shone shining against the blackened sky. Alex wasn’t sure how long he wandered for but eventually the moon ducked behind some clouds and Alex stopped walking. He pulled his head down and felt his breath catching in his throat.

The junkyard.

Alex took a tentative step forward, looking at the sign hanging above him as he crossed the threshold. The lot was quiet as Alex strolled through it, he could see the air streamer up ahead, the firepit still lit just outside. 

Alex strode towards the warmth of the fire, looking up at the trailer door. 

He walked past the fire, a few moves away from the steps to Micheal’s trailer. It would be so easy to just walk up those stairs and knock, Michael somehow always knew the right thing to say to Alex. 

He paused, looking up at the door; they were friends, right? Why did Alex’s heartbeat so hard at the thought of knocking on that door? He should be able to just talk to Michael, like he spoke to Maria, Liz, Kyle or Isobel. Why did the idea of talking to Michael cause Alex to pause?

Alex staggered back from the steps and into the seats around the fire. He stared at the embers as they rose, unsure why he was here or what he was looking for. Alex let his head fall back against the chair, closing his eyes.

“Alex?” Michael said, the trailer door closing behind him.

“Michael hey,” Alex coughed, standing up from the chair, “Sorry I was wandering around and just…” Alex didn’t know how to finish that sentence, not in a way that would make any sense to Michael. 

Michael nodded before turning around and heading back into the trailer.

Alex sighed, clenching his hands next to him. He shouldn’t have come here, shouldn’t have thought that anything had changed-the door opened again and Michael stepped out holding something in his arms. 

He climbed down the steps and walked over to Alex, holding out a blanket to him.

Alex just stared at it, his hands not moving from his side. Michael motioned it towards Alex again, a soft smile on his face that warmed Alex against the cold air. He reached out and took it from Michael, sitting back down in the chair,

Michael moved to the seat opposite Alex, sitting down, “What you doing wandering around this late?” Michael asked.

“Just thinking,” Alex said as he watched the fire rise against the black sky.

“Now why would you do something like that?” Michael joked, causing the corners of Alex’s lips to twitch. It was the closest thing to a real smile in days, “What about?” Michael asked, his voice more serious this time.

“It's a long and boring list of things,” Alex breathed.

“You look tired,”

Alex gave another laugh, he’d never been told he looked tired so much in one day, “Thanks Michael, I appreciate it,” He said, the sarcasm cleaner than his breath against the dark night.

“I’m not trying to be a dick, I’m just worried” Michael clarified, leaning forward on his chair, “What’s goin on?” He asked.

“Nothing,” Alex sighed. It was the truth, right now things were quiet, there was no impending villain they needed to stop. “Yet something how everything,” Alex whispered, “I just feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know?” 

Michael gave a small nod, “By other shoe to drop you mean Flint waking up,” He asked.

Alex looked up at the sky, the stars covered by a thick layer of cloud, “What am I meant to tell him?” He asked Michael, himself and whoever else was listening, he’d take any answer right now. After a moment of silences, he pulled his head back down, “That our dad was a psychopath and filled with such hate that he was willing to set off a bomb that would of killed our entire family, that he tried to murder me then you and our brother Greg had to kill him,” Alex listed the whole tragic story, shaking his head by the end, “Tell him that our dad managed to turn us into murders too,”

“Hey, you aren’t a murderer Alex, neither is Greg,” Michael assured, “It was self-defence,”

He had told the same thing to Greg, and he believed it. They didn’t have a choice it was kill him or he killed Michael, and that just wasn’t an option. “Somehow I don’t think Flint will see it like that,” Michael leaned back in his chair; he knew Alex was right. He had no idea how he was going to make Flint understand, it wasn’t like he could just undo years of abuse and brainwashing. “He’s going to hate us,” Alex whispered. Alex hated that his father had done this to them, that he took their family and tore it apart for his own needs, he hated that it still felt like his father was winning. “Every time I try to sleep I just...I see my father there with that gun and think about what he did to Flint, what he turned him into,”

“He’s dead Alex, he’s not coming back and he  _ can’t  _ hurt you,” Michael said.

“I know,” Alex breathed, the sad smile returning to his face, “And I should be happy right?” He asked, “I mean he made my life miserable, unbearable at times and all I’ve ever wanted was to get away from him and now I have, so I should be happy,” He finished, staring at Michael through blurry vision, the tears clinging to his waterline, “So why aren’t I?” He gasped, working hard to keep the emotions buried away.

Michael stood from his chair, walking over to sit next to Alex, his head turned to face him, “Because grief doesn’t work like that-”

“I don’t  _ want _ to grieve my father,” Alex snapped, pushing himself up from the chair, a wave of fatigue overcoming him for a moment before he anger kicked back in, “He doesn’t deserve it, he-he was a murder, a bigoted abusive dick who ruined my life,” Alex yelled, the tears that had been clinging finally spilling down his face. Alex turned to see Michael staring up at him, no pity in his eyes like the others just understanding and warmth, “And some stupid part of me, misses him,” Alex admitted, the last words tasting wrong on his lips.

“You miss who he could have been, you miss what you could have had,” Michael explained, giving him a smile that only Michael could give, a smile that seemed to make everything feel better for a moment, “It’s not stupid Alex, it’s being human,” It seemed so simple when Michael said it, in fact, Michael was sure he had given the same advice to his brother. Maybe Alex just needed to hear it from someone else, someone he trusted, “So you’ve not been sleeping?” He asked.

Alex walked back over to the chair, picking the blanket off the floor and placing it in his lap, “I’ve gotten a few hours,” He said.

Michael narrowed his eyes, “Tonight?”

Alex looked over to the side, pulling at the threads of the blanket, “Over the last week,” He quietly said.

He heard Michael curse, “Alex-” 

“It’s fine,” He said, but he could tell from Michael’s face he definitely didn’t think it was fine.

“No, it's not,” He said, his brows pulled together.

Alex had had insomnia in the past. It flared up with stress, and lately, that was the central emotion that Alex had been feeling, “It’s just stress,” He smiled, “It will fade eventually,” He said, more of a hope than something he knew. 

Michael raised his brow, “Not if you pass out from exhaustion beforehand,” He said.

“At least I’d sleep,” Alex quipped, earning a playful glare from Guerin.

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself Alex,” Michael sighed.

“You think I want to be awake, feeling constantly exhausted-”

“I know you’re worried about what happens when Flint wakes up but you don’t have to shoulder that alone,”

“Greg can’t stay here forever,” Alex said, eventually Greg would leave and it would just be Alex again, left to clean up the Manes mess.

“I wasn’t talking about Greg,” Michael said.

Alex looked over to see Michael smiling at him, the fire reflecting in his eyes, “I know things are a hard right now and I can’t really change that, I wish I could,” and Alex knew he meant it, “But what I can do is be there for you,” Michael’s hand tapped his arm chair and Alex had to fight the urge to reach across to take it.

Alex looked down at the ground, his fingers fidgeting, “My life is a mess right now, you don’t have to-”

“I know,” Michael said, “I  _ want  _ to,”

“Why?” Alex gasped. 

There was a silence between the two and Alex pulled his eyes away from the ground to look at Michael again, his eyes had never left Alex. “You know why,” he almost whispered. 

After singing his song at the Wild Pony, things between the pair had been different. Neither had said anything, and nothing had  _ really  _ changed but it felt different between the pair. They had both been trying to stay on the side of friendship but in the last few weeks, it felt like they were teetering on the edge ready to spill over at any point, “I thought you said we weren’t good for each other,” He asked.

Michael gave a subtle nod, “We weren’t” He sighed, “I hadn’t dealt with a lot of stuff and I don’t think you had either,” As much as the comment had hurt Alex, broken his heart in fact Michael had been right. “But things are different now, I’m not saying we’re perfect but…” Michael trailed off, looking up at the sky above, the clouds starting to part to reveal the star, “I want...us,” He confessed, still looking up at the sky.

Alex felt the corners of his lips twitch up again, and this time they reached a full smile, the tears building up in his eyes again, “You know when I came here this is not where I expected this conversation to go,” He admitted, a small laugh escaping his lips.

“When is anything to do with us predictable,” Michael said, pulling his head down to reveal a smile. “Look I know you’ve got a lot going on so I get if you need to some time to work stuff out before us-”

“You’re right,” Alex started, “There is so much happening and I have no answers to any of it, half of it doesn’t even make sense to me,” Alex bite his bottom lip, pulling it between his teeth. He pulled his hand from his lap reaching across to take Michaels, “But us,” He smiled, “That is the only thing that makes sense to me,” Michael looked down at their hands, turning his so their fingers interlocked.

The boys just smiled at each other, the chaos in the world failing quiet around them. 

“I should get going, I’ve got to head to my dads tomorrow to clear his place, see if I can find any info on Deep Sky, the new rouge military group my brother stumbled upon,” Alex said. 

Michael nodded, pulling his hands from Alex, much to Alex’s dismay.

Alex pushed himself from the chair, a wave of dizziness making him stumble.

“Woah,” Michael said as he stood in front of Alex, his hands on his shoulders.

“I’m just tired,” Alex said, squeezing his eyes to try and clear the tiredness from them.

“Yeah I can see that,” Michael said. Alex glared up at Michael who just laughed, “Already changing your mind about us,” He joked, Alex didn’t even reply, the answer obvious;  _ never.  _ “Look why don’t you just crash here tonight,” Michael said, his hands still on Alex’s shoulder.

“This some kind of ploy to get me into your bed,” Alex said, his head tilted to the side.

Michael smirked, narrowing his eyes, “I don’t need a ploy for that,” Alex rolled his eyes but the smile never left his face, “You're exhausted, i’ll drive you back tomorrow,” Michael said.

Alex didn’t have the energy to walk back to his, nor did he have the overwhelming desire to sleep in his house. He turned to Michael, giving him a nod. Michael stepped back, holding his hand out for Alex to take, which he did. They left the warmth of the fire and headed up the stairs to the trailer, stepping inside. 

It was dark, the small beams of moonlight lighting the way. Alex walked over to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it, running his hand through his hair, tugging at the ends. Michael moved to another part of the trailer as Alex slipped off his boots, taking his prosthetic off placing it to the side. Alex swung his legs onto the bed, lying on top of the covers as he stared at the roof. 

He heard movement and saw as Michael walked back over, now wearing a loose shirt and joggers. He came over to the bed, hovering for a moment, “I can crash on the sofa if you-”

Alex reached out, taking hold of Michael’s hand. He moved over in the bed, still holding Michael’s hand. Michael understood, slipping into the spot where Alex had laid.

Their shoulders pressed together, the boys just lay there for a moment, “Do you really think everything’s going to be okay; Flint, Deep Sky, Mr Jones,” He asked, turning his head to look at Michael.

“Honestly, I have no idea,” Michael said, his eyes still focused above, “But I know we’ve got each other, so yeah I guess I do know everything will be alright,” 

“You know…” Alex whispered, reaching over to take Michael hand again, “If everyone knew you were this cheesy, the whole macho cowboy thing you’ve got going on would be blown,”

Michael turned to him, a wide smile on his face, “Who says I can’t be a cheesy macho cowboy,” He joked. Alex just shook his head at the ridiculous man before him; the ridiculous, amazing, sweet man he loved. Alex moved his head closer to Michael’s, Michael mimicking the action till their lips joined. Alex took in a deep breath,  his hands coming up to cup the sides of Michael’s face, his thumb brushing his check. Michael reached over and balled Alex’s shirt into his, deepening their kiss. They parted, their foreheads leaning against each other, Alex gradually opened his eyes to see Michael looking back at him, smiling.

“I’m really glad I came here,” Alex whispered, his lips still just inches from Michael’s.

“So am I,” Michael breathed, his warm breath brushing against Alex’s lips.

Michael moved to lie back down, unlocking his hand from Alex’s, moving to wrap his arm around Alex’s shoulder till he was lying on his chest; their hands locked again against their chest. 

Alex listened to Michael’s steady heart beat, his eyes fluttering close, staying closed for longer each time. 

Kyle was right, all of Alex’s problems would still be there in the morning; Flint would still be in a coma, his father still dead and Deep Sky still out there. Yet next to Michael, Alex’s head wasn’t overwhelmed by the thoughts, instead, they settled giving his mind the peace he had been longing for.

Next to Michael, the problems didn’t seem impossible and Alex felt his body creep closer and closer to the edge of sleep.

As Alex’s eyes fluttered closed for the last time, a soft smile was etched on his lips as tomorrow suddenly didn’t seem so daunting.

**Author's Note:**

> 💛 thank you for reading and any comments or kudos are greatly appreciated! 💛


End file.
